Chapter Five
Before he could even knock on the door, it was thrust open. He was face to face to a very unhappy 16 year old girl.
"Are you ready?" Le-Roy asked, ignoring Marie's mood.
"What do you think," she retorted sharply. "Let me just have an hour or so to say goodbye to everybody, and to Prince." With that she went to the barn.
Le-Roy turned around and saw Ray standing there in the background. Watching the exchange that had went on.
"I'm apologize for that Le-Roy, I told her to be polite. I know that it is hard for you as well. But it has to be done. I don't want her in an orphanage or Adoption Agency, just because she didn't move in with your family.
"That's quite alright. She'll settle down...life has started to move on, even if she hasn't..." he finished what he had to say.
"Would you like to come in? She'll no doubt be a while.'' He said this as though it was a regular thing for her to disappear into the barn for long periods of time.
"Sure. I smell coffee, and I could use some." He came in and the door was shut.
They talked about the weather, and about work. Eventually it lead to scripture. Ray was interested, Le-Roy could tell. But he could also see that Ray wouldn't allow himself to grasp it. Even though he had an interest in God.
..............................
Mari was sitting on a hay bale behind the barn. That's where Ray found her about an hour later. She knew it was him, because no one else knew about this secret sitting place.
" Hey kiddo. Are you okay." He stated, rather than asked.
"What's it to you, uncle Ray. At least I won't be in the way, or you worried that I may have done something stupid."
" Oh honey, that is not the case. You know how special you are to me...to Nicki and Emma and aunt Mary. You helped me when I was down about Katherine leaving me for her real mom. And you've stuck by not only me, but her as well. And now she's a believer too. That thrills me!"
"Than why does the bible bother you so, when you are happy for anyone who is a believer and obey scripture?" Marie asked.
"I don't know kid...I really don't. I guess I kinda walked away from it as a kid, and haven't considered it since."
"But who am I to talk, right? I'm a hypocrite for encouraging you to God, when I myself have fallen off the path...I'm gonna miss you." Marie looked away, she hated tears.
Ray wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "You're not really leaving. True you'll be about ten minutes up the road, but that's all! You get to come whenever you want, plus you'll be here everyday due to your job here. It's not all bad, if you look at it."
"But it'll still be different. New lifestyle, A fence when you walk out the door. No privacy, with three other kids around. Hmmmm..." Marie leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed a tired, sorrowful sigh.
"Alright, I guess is shouldn't waste any more of his time. He has work to do...bye Uncle Ray."
"Bye Marie. You wanna plan on a breakfast together? We can go to the Cozy Nest and have a sausage mc muffin, with coffee?"
Marie's face brightened up at this and nodded her head with enthusiasm.
"alright, let's plan for next Tuesday. Say 6:30?
Again she nodded her head up and down.
"Alright than. See you." He gave her one last hug, and than they went to the house. She said goodbye to Aunt Mary-Lpu, and hugged and kissed Ramoen and Elena. Than she turned to Le-Roy brown and off they went.
The family felt like a piece of them just got ripped away. But that was life.
It had been another month since she moved to town. Two months since the accident. School started so life had some sort of normacly for her. She was homeschooled and thoroughly enjoyed it. She had slipped behind a bit, but still held an A+ average. Physio therapy had started as well. Her uncle came everyday and brought her to the hospital for her sessions. She was exhausted at the end of the two hours. But at least her limp was slowly going away, and her muscles fel stronger and stronger each day. Marie was staring at her ceiling, it was 4:30 am. She finally put on her wranglers, a hooded t-shirt, put on her boots and grabbed her leather jacket. She left a note on the kitchen table. Telling that family where she was going to be. And assuring them not to worry. She left her phone at home, she would not be disturbed...not today.
..............................
Ray looked out his kitchen window. It was a beautiful morning. Though still dark, light was starting to peak through the mountains. He was finishing his coffee before he headed out. Marie was going to show up in about two hours to do chores. It was 5:00am. As he was turning from the window, a reflectiopn caused him to keep looking. A bike was coming up the long driveway. His heart squeezed at the sight of Marie coming into view. She looked distressed and thoughtful. And no doubt trying to avoid the tears. She threw bike to the side and went into the barn. He watched in curiousity as she came back out in three minutes time, astride Prince. She was at a full gallop back down the driveway. Ray raced out the door eager to see where she was headed. And to make sure she did nothing foolish!
..............................
Marie tied Prince to a tree and walked through the rows of tombstones. She was at the Eternal Rest Cemetary. She felt some sort of peace when she walked into this cemetary. She felt a comfort here. Most people thought it creepy to walk in a cemetary with a bunch of old and fresh corpses beneath you. But she felt a sense of respect and peace. Like she was praying her repects or something like that. At last she came to a halt...not ten feet away she was staring at five tombstones. They facing towards her. She felt the tears spring to her eyes as she sat in the damp cool grass. She put flowers on the graves before her, they had been in her saddle bag. She felt anger, pain, relief, sorrow, remorse, and guilt as her body heaved wrenching sobs.
"How, could this happen! Why would you take them from me!?" She shouted angry words to the Lord above. Unable to stop her tears she screamed at the top of her lungs...thoughts of death assailed all her senses. "Do you know, how easy it would be just to give up, right here and now. Not to have to face the worrying eyes of friends and family...the look of stricken sorrow on the pastor's face...how simple to escape the heartache of my uncle's saddened face..." she closed her eyes and knew. :I know that you have kept me alive for something, but what!? WHAT!?" Her heart weary, she sank down to the ground.
"Why lord...why am I here...." her voice broke and the tears came again, this time silently running down her face...
..............................
Ray was leaning against a tree watching in thoughtful silence. He had heard the whole exchange between her and the Lord. It broke his heart that she couldn't accept what happened. Besides that, he was saddened that his worrying about her, caused her more stress and grief. He saw her sobbing and tears sprang to his own eyes. His wife was having a hard time with the family's passing as well. But was staying strong for Marie's sake. He watched as she turned to find him standing there. He had left his horse farther behind, so as not to have her hear him. She was sincerely surprised. This kinda pleased him because she never started and she always seemed to know when someone approached. She hugged herself and looked away, her face red from the cold weather. She was embarrassed that he had caught her crying. He hated her feeling this way about tears. It was not a weakness. He himself learned this a few years ago. He walked over and sat as close to her as possible, she let out a growl. And he smiled
"It's okay to mourn, and to feel anger Marie. But you need to make sure you keep it a righteous anger, and not an unrighteous anger." He finished this by saying, "I'm here for you. When will you get that Marie? When..." He sighed a sad sigh. "Life has started to move on, and you're still stuck in the past. What will it take for you to see that..." He stated this sentence as a thought, rather than a question.
Marie just sat there listening. Her uncle had a lot of wisdom and biblical sense. Why he didn't just surrender to Christ was lost on her. She ducked her head as tears reached her eyes again. She was in misery. How many times had she wished for solitude when her family had been loud or noisy. How many times had she thought to herself that life would have been better if they had not been here. And now that this had come true, all she did was wallow in regret.
Ray noticed that she was clenching her teeth and keeping her head away from his view.
" Look at me...Marie." He let several seconds pass before he grabbed her chin in his hand and turned her head so that she was looking right at him. Her eyes were piercing as he looked at her. She hated this attention and his touch. But he had to make her see that it was okay to cry around him, to vent, to talk about it. "It's all right! You can be yourself around me. Let loose and cry...a lot if you have too! okay?" He waited until she nodded before he dropped his hand. He saw an immediate change in her stance and demeanor as she got up, dusted herself off and acted as though nothing had happened,
"Let's go. I gotta do chores and I'm starved!" She untied Prince mounted and waited for her uncle to do the same. She wiped her face when he wasn't looking and hoped against all odds that he'd drop the subject. He did thankfully. But they kept it to a slow ride all the way back. It had been two hours since she'd left Le-Roy's. She stayed silent all the way. And when they arrived half an hour later, Lexi and Robin were already there starting their own share of the chores. She resolved to have a good day today, if it was the last thing she ever did. And to start if off she thanked her uncle for his advice, kissed his cheek and greeted Lexi and Robin with an enthusiastic hug, and disappeared inside the barn with the two horses in tow. Both friends were puzzled and looked to her uncle in the hopes of an explanation. He just threw his hands in the air, and backed away just as puzzled. Something had happened, and it didn't feel like a good thing...he walked back to the house deep in thought. He was going to figure out what had happened. IMMEDIATELY!
Before he could even knock on the door, it was thrust open. He was face to face to a very unhappy 16 year old girl.
"Are you ready?" Le-Roy asked, ignoring Marie's mood.
"What do you think," she retorted sharply. "Let me just have an hour or so to say goodbye to everybody, and to Prince." With that she went to the barn.
Le-Roy turned around and saw Ray standing there in the background. Watching the exchange that had went on.
"I'm apologize for that Le-Roy, I told her to be polite. I know that it is hard for you as well. But it has to be done. I don't want her in an orphanage or Adoption Agency, just because she didn't move in with your family.
"That's quite alright. She'll settle down...life has started to move on, even if she hasn't..." he finished what he had to say.
"Would you like to come in? She'll no doubt be a while.'' He said this as though it was a regular thing for her to disappear into the barn for long periods of time.
"Sure. I smell coffee, and I could use some." He came in and the door was shut.
They talked about the weather, and about work. Eventually it lead to scripture. Ray was interested, Le-Roy could tell. But he could also see that Ray wouldn't allow himself to grasp it. Even though he had an interest in God.
..............................
Mari was sitting on a hay bale behind the barn. That's where Ray found her about an hour later. She knew it was him, because no one else knew about this secret sitting place.
" Hey kiddo. Are you okay." He stated, rather than asked.
"What's it to you, uncle Ray. At least I won't be in the way, or you worried that I may have done something stupid."
" Oh honey, that is not the case. You know how special you are to me...to Nicki and Emma and aunt Mary. You helped me when I was down about Katherine leaving me for her real mom. And you've stuck by not only me, but her as well. And now she's a believer too. That thrills me!"
"Than why does the bible bother you so, when you are happy for anyone who is a believer and obey scripture?" Marie asked.
"I don't know kid...I really don't. I guess I kinda walked away from it as a kid, and haven't considered it since."
"But who am I to talk, right? I'm a hypocrite for encouraging you to God, when I myself have fallen off the path...I'm gonna miss you." Marie looked away, she hated tears.
Ray wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "You're not really leaving. True you'll be about ten minutes up the road, but that's all! You get to come whenever you want, plus you'll be here everyday due to your job here. It's not all bad, if you look at it."
"But it'll still be different. New lifestyle, A fence when you walk out the door. No privacy, with three other kids around. Hmmmm..." Marie leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed a tired, sorrowful sigh.
"Alright, I guess is shouldn't waste any more of his time. He has work to do...bye Uncle Ray."
"Bye Marie. You wanna plan on a breakfast together? We can go to the Cozy Nest and have a sausage mc muffin, with coffee?"
Marie's face brightened up at this and nodded her head with enthusiasm.
"alright, let's plan for next Tuesday. Say 6:30?
Again she nodded her head up and down.
"Alright than. See you." He gave her one last hug, and than they went to the house. She said goodbye to Aunt Mary-Lpu, and hugged and kissed Ramoen and Elena. Than she turned to Le-Roy brown and off they went.
The family felt like a piece of them just got ripped away. But that was life.
It had been another month since she moved to town. Two months since the accident. School started so life had some sort of normacly for her. She was homeschooled and thoroughly enjoyed it. She had slipped behind a bit, but still held an A+ average. Physio therapy had started as well. Her uncle came everyday and brought her to the hospital for her sessions. She was exhausted at the end of the two hours. But at least her limp was slowly going away, and her muscles fel stronger and stronger each day. Marie was staring at her ceiling, it was 4:30 am. She finally put on her wranglers, a hooded t-shirt, put on her boots and grabbed her leather jacket. She left a note on the kitchen table. Telling that family where she was going to be. And assuring them not to worry. She left her phone at home, she would not be disturbed...not today.
..............................
Ray looked out his kitchen window. It was a beautiful morning. Though still dark, light was starting to peak through the mountains. He was finishing his coffee before he headed out. Marie was going to show up in about two hours to do chores. It was 5:00am. As he was turning from the window, a reflectiopn caused him to keep looking. A bike was coming up the long driveway. His heart squeezed at the sight of Marie coming into view. She looked distressed and thoughtful. And no doubt trying to avoid the tears. She threw bike to the side and went into the barn. He watched in curiousity as she came back out in three minutes time, astride Prince. She was at a full gallop back down the driveway. Ray raced out the door eager to see where she was headed. And to make sure she did nothing foolish!
..............................
Marie tied Prince to a tree and walked through the rows of tombstones. She was at the Eternal Rest Cemetary. She felt some sort of peace when she walked into this cemetary. She felt a comfort here. Most people thought it creepy to walk in a cemetary with a bunch of old and fresh corpses beneath you. But she felt a sense of respect and peace. Like she was praying her repects or something like that. At last she came to a halt...not ten feet away she was staring at five tombstones. They facing towards her. She felt the tears spring to her eyes as she sat in the damp cool grass. She put flowers on the graves before her, they had been in her saddle bag. She felt anger, pain, relief, sorrow, remorse, and guilt as her body heaved wrenching sobs.
"How, could this happen! Why would you take them from me!?" She shouted angry words to the Lord above. Unable to stop her tears she screamed at the top of her lungs...thoughts of death assailed all her senses. "Do you know, how easy it would be just to give up, right here and now. Not to have to face the worrying eyes of friends and family...the look of stricken sorrow on the pastor's face...how simple to escape the heartache of my uncle's saddened face..." she closed her eyes and knew. :I know that you have kept me alive for something, but what!? WHAT!?" Her heart weary, she sank down to the ground.
"Why lord...why am I here...." her voice broke and the tears came again, this time silently running down her face...
..............................
Ray was leaning against a tree watching in thoughtful silence. He had heard the whole exchange between her and the Lord. It broke his heart that she couldn't accept what happened. Besides that, he was saddened that his worrying about her, caused her more stress and grief. He saw her sobbing and tears sprang to his own eyes. His wife was having a hard time with the family's passing as well. But was staying strong for Marie's sake. He watched as she turned to find him standing there. He had left his horse farther behind, so as not to have her hear him. She was sincerely surprised. This kinda pleased him because she never started and she always seemed to know when someone approached. She hugged herself and looked away, her face red from the cold weather. She was embarrassed that he had caught her crying. He hated her feeling this way about tears. It was not a weakness. He himself learned this a few years ago. He walked over and sat as close to her as possible, she let out a growl. And he smiled
"It's okay to mourn, and to feel anger Marie. But you need to make sure you keep it a righteous anger, and not an unrighteous anger." He finished this by saying, "I'm here for you. When will you get that Marie? When..." He sighed a sad sigh. "Life has started to move on, and you're still stuck in the past. What will it take for you to see that..." He stated this sentence as a thought, rather than a question.
Marie just sat there listening. Her uncle had a lot of wisdom and biblical sense. Why he didn't just surrender to Christ was lost on her. She ducked her head as tears reached her eyes again. She was in misery. How many times had she wished for solitude when her family had been loud or noisy. How many times had she thought to herself that life would have been better if they had not been here. And now that this had come true, all she did was wallow in regret.
Ray noticed that she was clenching her teeth and keeping her head away from his view.
" Look at me...Marie." He let several seconds pass before he grabbed her chin in his hand and turned her head so that she was looking right at him. Her eyes were piercing as he looked at her. She hated this attention and his touch. But he had to make her see that it was okay to cry around him, to vent, to talk about it. "It's all right! You can be yourself around me. Let loose and cry...a lot if you have too! okay?" He waited until she nodded before he dropped his hand. He saw an immediate change in her stance and demeanor as she got up, dusted herself off and acted as though nothing had happened,
"Let's go. I gotta do chores and I'm starved!" She untied Prince mounted and waited for her uncle to do the same. She wiped her face when he wasn't looking and hoped against all odds that he'd drop the subject. He did thankfully. But they kept it to a slow ride all the way back. It had been two hours since she'd left Le-Roy's. She stayed silent all the way. And when they arrived half an hour later, Lexi and Robin were already there starting their own share of the chores. She resolved to have a good day today, if it was the last thing she ever did. And to start if off she thanked her uncle for his advice, kissed his cheek and greeted Lexi and Robin with an enthusiastic hug, and disappeared inside the barn with the two horses in tow. Both friends were puzzled and looked to her uncle in the hopes of an explanation. He just threw his hands in the air, and backed away just as puzzled. Something had happened, and it didn't feel like a good thing...he walked back to the house deep in thought. He was going to figure out what had happened. IMMEDIATELY!
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