Okay, so a friend of mine did a post on humility on her blog. You can find it if you click on 'His Alone' on my blog list. She pointed out something. This world, is so much involved with self image, pride and so forth. (not gonna spoil it for you. hehe.) Since way back when, this world has slowly gotten more and more evil, destructive upon itself! It is slowly tearing one another apart, and killing life. It's getting to the point that most people fear stepping out their doors! Even I keep a sharp eye open as I walk to work everyday! And I live in a town with eighteen hundred people. Haha. My point? My point is that, though this is depressing, and scary, there is a bright side! This only temporary. WE won't be here forever. To put it in a more understanding point of view, here is the metaphor I like to use; This world is like an airport. People come and go, from all over. We are only passing through, not here for long. Everyone is going somewhere. But there are only two planes. The one way plane to heaven. Or the one way plane to hell. we are living in our 'temporary home.' Which plane are you on?
Monday, January 30, 2012
'Tradgedies Amidst Healing' Chapter 5-6
Chapter Five
Before he could even knock on the door, it was thrust open. He was face to face to a very unhappy 16 year old girl.
"Are you ready?" Le-Roy asked, ignoring Marie's mood.
"What do you think," she retorted sharply. "Let me just have an hour or so to say goodbye to everybody, and to Prince." With that she went to the barn.
Le-Roy turned around and saw Ray standing there in the background. Watching the exchange that had went on.
"I'm apologize for that Le-Roy, I told her to be polite. I know that it is hard for you as well. But it has to be done. I don't want her in an orphanage or Adoption Agency, just because she didn't move in with your family.
"That's quite alright. She'll settle down...life has started to move on, even if she hasn't..." he finished what he had to say.
"Would you like to come in? She'll no doubt be a while.'' He said this as though it was a regular thing for her to disappear into the barn for long periods of time.
"Sure. I smell coffee, and I could use some." He came in and the door was shut.
They talked about the weather, and about work. Eventually it lead to scripture. Ray was interested, Le-Roy could tell. But he could also see that Ray wouldn't allow himself to grasp it. Even though he had an interest in God.
..............................
Mari was sitting on a hay bale behind the barn. That's where Ray found her about an hour later. She knew it was him, because no one else knew about this secret sitting place.
" Hey kiddo. Are you okay." He stated, rather than asked.
"What's it to you, uncle Ray. At least I won't be in the way, or you worried that I may have done something stupid."
" Oh honey, that is not the case. You know how special you are to me...to Nicki and Emma and aunt Mary. You helped me when I was down about Katherine leaving me for her real mom. And you've stuck by not only me, but her as well. And now she's a believer too. That thrills me!"
"Than why does the bible bother you so, when you are happy for anyone who is a believer and obey scripture?" Marie asked.
"I don't know kid...I really don't. I guess I kinda walked away from it as a kid, and haven't considered it since."
"But who am I to talk, right? I'm a hypocrite for encouraging you to God, when I myself have fallen off the path...I'm gonna miss you." Marie looked away, she hated tears.
Ray wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "You're not really leaving. True you'll be about ten minutes up the road, but that's all! You get to come whenever you want, plus you'll be here everyday due to your job here. It's not all bad, if you look at it."
"But it'll still be different. New lifestyle, A fence when you walk out the door. No privacy, with three other kids around. Hmmmm..." Marie leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed a tired, sorrowful sigh.
"Alright, I guess is shouldn't waste any more of his time. He has work to do...bye Uncle Ray."
"Bye Marie. You wanna plan on a breakfast together? We can go to the Cozy Nest and have a sausage mc muffin, with coffee?"
Marie's face brightened up at this and nodded her head with enthusiasm.
"alright, let's plan for next Tuesday. Say 6:30?
Again she nodded her head up and down.
"Alright than. See you." He gave her one last hug, and than they went to the house. She said goodbye to Aunt Mary-Lpu, and hugged and kissed Ramoen and Elena. Than she turned to Le-Roy brown and off they went.
The family felt like a piece of them just got ripped away. But that was life.
It had been another month since she moved to town. Two months since the accident. School started so life had some sort of normacly for her. She was homeschooled and thoroughly enjoyed it. She had slipped behind a bit, but still held an A+ average. Physio therapy had started as well. Her uncle came everyday and brought her to the hospital for her sessions. She was exhausted at the end of the two hours. But at least her limp was slowly going away, and her muscles fel stronger and stronger each day. Marie was staring at her ceiling, it was 4:30 am. She finally put on her wranglers, a hooded t-shirt, put on her boots and grabbed her leather jacket. She left a note on the kitchen table. Telling that family where she was going to be. And assuring them not to worry. She left her phone at home, she would not be disturbed...not today.
..............................
Ray looked out his kitchen window. It was a beautiful morning. Though still dark, light was starting to peak through the mountains. He was finishing his coffee before he headed out. Marie was going to show up in about two hours to do chores. It was 5:00am. As he was turning from the window, a reflectiopn caused him to keep looking. A bike was coming up the long driveway. His heart squeezed at the sight of Marie coming into view. She looked distressed and thoughtful. And no doubt trying to avoid the tears. She threw bike to the side and went into the barn. He watched in curiousity as she came back out in three minutes time, astride Prince. She was at a full gallop back down the driveway. Ray raced out the door eager to see where she was headed. And to make sure she did nothing foolish!
..............................
Marie tied Prince to a tree and walked through the rows of tombstones. She was at the Eternal Rest Cemetary. She felt some sort of peace when she walked into this cemetary. She felt a comfort here. Most people thought it creepy to walk in a cemetary with a bunch of old and fresh corpses beneath you. But she felt a sense of respect and peace. Like she was praying her repects or something like that. At last she came to a halt...not ten feet away she was staring at five tombstones. They facing towards her. She felt the tears spring to her eyes as she sat in the damp cool grass. She put flowers on the graves before her, they had been in her saddle bag. She felt anger, pain, relief, sorrow, remorse, and guilt as her body heaved wrenching sobs.
"How, could this happen! Why would you take them from me!?" She shouted angry words to the Lord above. Unable to stop her tears she screamed at the top of her lungs...thoughts of death assailed all her senses. "Do you know, how easy it would be just to give up, right here and now. Not to have to face the worrying eyes of friends and family...the look of stricken sorrow on the pastor's face...how simple to escape the heartache of my uncle's saddened face..." she closed her eyes and knew. :I know that you have kept me alive for something, but what!? WHAT!?" Her heart weary, she sank down to the ground.
"Why lord...why am I here...." her voice broke and the tears came again, this time silently running down her face...
..............................
Ray was leaning against a tree watching in thoughtful silence. He had heard the whole exchange between her and the Lord. It broke his heart that she couldn't accept what happened. Besides that, he was saddened that his worrying about her, caused her more stress and grief. He saw her sobbing and tears sprang to his own eyes. His wife was having a hard time with the family's passing as well. But was staying strong for Marie's sake. He watched as she turned to find him standing there. He had left his horse farther behind, so as not to have her hear him. She was sincerely surprised. This kinda pleased him because she never started and she always seemed to know when someone approached. She hugged herself and looked away, her face red from the cold weather. She was embarrassed that he had caught her crying. He hated her feeling this way about tears. It was not a weakness. He himself learned this a few years ago. He walked over and sat as close to her as possible, she let out a growl. And he smiled
"It's okay to mourn, and to feel anger Marie. But you need to make sure you keep it a righteous anger, and not an unrighteous anger." He finished this by saying, "I'm here for you. When will you get that Marie? When..." He sighed a sad sigh. "Life has started to move on, and you're still stuck in the past. What will it take for you to see that..." He stated this sentence as a thought, rather than a question.
Marie just sat there listening. Her uncle had a lot of wisdom and biblical sense. Why he didn't just surrender to Christ was lost on her. She ducked her head as tears reached her eyes again. She was in misery. How many times had she wished for solitude when her family had been loud or noisy. How many times had she thought to herself that life would have been better if they had not been here. And now that this had come true, all she did was wallow in regret.
Ray noticed that she was clenching her teeth and keeping her head away from his view.
" Look at me...Marie." He let several seconds pass before he grabbed her chin in his hand and turned her head so that she was looking right at him. Her eyes were piercing as he looked at her. She hated this attention and his touch. But he had to make her see that it was okay to cry around him, to vent, to talk about it. "It's all right! You can be yourself around me. Let loose and cry...a lot if you have too! okay?" He waited until she nodded before he dropped his hand. He saw an immediate change in her stance and demeanor as she got up, dusted herself off and acted as though nothing had happened,
"Let's go. I gotta do chores and I'm starved!" She untied Prince mounted and waited for her uncle to do the same. She wiped her face when he wasn't looking and hoped against all odds that he'd drop the subject. He did thankfully. But they kept it to a slow ride all the way back. It had been two hours since she'd left Le-Roy's. She stayed silent all the way. And when they arrived half an hour later, Lexi and Robin were already there starting their own share of the chores. She resolved to have a good day today, if it was the last thing she ever did. And to start if off she thanked her uncle for his advice, kissed his cheek and greeted Lexi and Robin with an enthusiastic hug, and disappeared inside the barn with the two horses in tow. Both friends were puzzled and looked to her uncle in the hopes of an explanation. He just threw his hands in the air, and backed away just as puzzled. Something had happened, and it didn't feel like a good thing...he walked back to the house deep in thought. He was going to figure out what had happened. IMMEDIATELY!
Before he could even knock on the door, it was thrust open. He was face to face to a very unhappy 16 year old girl.
"Are you ready?" Le-Roy asked, ignoring Marie's mood.
"What do you think," she retorted sharply. "Let me just have an hour or so to say goodbye to everybody, and to Prince." With that she went to the barn.
Le-Roy turned around and saw Ray standing there in the background. Watching the exchange that had went on.
"I'm apologize for that Le-Roy, I told her to be polite. I know that it is hard for you as well. But it has to be done. I don't want her in an orphanage or Adoption Agency, just because she didn't move in with your family.
"That's quite alright. She'll settle down...life has started to move on, even if she hasn't..." he finished what he had to say.
"Would you like to come in? She'll no doubt be a while.'' He said this as though it was a regular thing for her to disappear into the barn for long periods of time.
"Sure. I smell coffee, and I could use some." He came in and the door was shut.
They talked about the weather, and about work. Eventually it lead to scripture. Ray was interested, Le-Roy could tell. But he could also see that Ray wouldn't allow himself to grasp it. Even though he had an interest in God.
..............................
Mari was sitting on a hay bale behind the barn. That's where Ray found her about an hour later. She knew it was him, because no one else knew about this secret sitting place.
" Hey kiddo. Are you okay." He stated, rather than asked.
"What's it to you, uncle Ray. At least I won't be in the way, or you worried that I may have done something stupid."
" Oh honey, that is not the case. You know how special you are to me...to Nicki and Emma and aunt Mary. You helped me when I was down about Katherine leaving me for her real mom. And you've stuck by not only me, but her as well. And now she's a believer too. That thrills me!"
"Than why does the bible bother you so, when you are happy for anyone who is a believer and obey scripture?" Marie asked.
"I don't know kid...I really don't. I guess I kinda walked away from it as a kid, and haven't considered it since."
"But who am I to talk, right? I'm a hypocrite for encouraging you to God, when I myself have fallen off the path...I'm gonna miss you." Marie looked away, she hated tears.
Ray wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "You're not really leaving. True you'll be about ten minutes up the road, but that's all! You get to come whenever you want, plus you'll be here everyday due to your job here. It's not all bad, if you look at it."
"But it'll still be different. New lifestyle, A fence when you walk out the door. No privacy, with three other kids around. Hmmmm..." Marie leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed a tired, sorrowful sigh.
"Alright, I guess is shouldn't waste any more of his time. He has work to do...bye Uncle Ray."
"Bye Marie. You wanna plan on a breakfast together? We can go to the Cozy Nest and have a sausage mc muffin, with coffee?"
Marie's face brightened up at this and nodded her head with enthusiasm.
"alright, let's plan for next Tuesday. Say 6:30?
Again she nodded her head up and down.
"Alright than. See you." He gave her one last hug, and than they went to the house. She said goodbye to Aunt Mary-Lpu, and hugged and kissed Ramoen and Elena. Than she turned to Le-Roy brown and off they went.
The family felt like a piece of them just got ripped away. But that was life.
It had been another month since she moved to town. Two months since the accident. School started so life had some sort of normacly for her. She was homeschooled and thoroughly enjoyed it. She had slipped behind a bit, but still held an A+ average. Physio therapy had started as well. Her uncle came everyday and brought her to the hospital for her sessions. She was exhausted at the end of the two hours. But at least her limp was slowly going away, and her muscles fel stronger and stronger each day. Marie was staring at her ceiling, it was 4:30 am. She finally put on her wranglers, a hooded t-shirt, put on her boots and grabbed her leather jacket. She left a note on the kitchen table. Telling that family where she was going to be. And assuring them not to worry. She left her phone at home, she would not be disturbed...not today.
..............................
Ray looked out his kitchen window. It was a beautiful morning. Though still dark, light was starting to peak through the mountains. He was finishing his coffee before he headed out. Marie was going to show up in about two hours to do chores. It was 5:00am. As he was turning from the window, a reflectiopn caused him to keep looking. A bike was coming up the long driveway. His heart squeezed at the sight of Marie coming into view. She looked distressed and thoughtful. And no doubt trying to avoid the tears. She threw bike to the side and went into the barn. He watched in curiousity as she came back out in three minutes time, astride Prince. She was at a full gallop back down the driveway. Ray raced out the door eager to see where she was headed. And to make sure she did nothing foolish!
..............................
Marie tied Prince to a tree and walked through the rows of tombstones. She was at the Eternal Rest Cemetary. She felt some sort of peace when she walked into this cemetary. She felt a comfort here. Most people thought it creepy to walk in a cemetary with a bunch of old and fresh corpses beneath you. But she felt a sense of respect and peace. Like she was praying her repects or something like that. At last she came to a halt...not ten feet away she was staring at five tombstones. They facing towards her. She felt the tears spring to her eyes as she sat in the damp cool grass. She put flowers on the graves before her, they had been in her saddle bag. She felt anger, pain, relief, sorrow, remorse, and guilt as her body heaved wrenching sobs.
"How, could this happen! Why would you take them from me!?" She shouted angry words to the Lord above. Unable to stop her tears she screamed at the top of her lungs...thoughts of death assailed all her senses. "Do you know, how easy it would be just to give up, right here and now. Not to have to face the worrying eyes of friends and family...the look of stricken sorrow on the pastor's face...how simple to escape the heartache of my uncle's saddened face..." she closed her eyes and knew. :I know that you have kept me alive for something, but what!? WHAT!?" Her heart weary, she sank down to the ground.
"Why lord...why am I here...." her voice broke and the tears came again, this time silently running down her face...
..............................
Ray was leaning against a tree watching in thoughtful silence. He had heard the whole exchange between her and the Lord. It broke his heart that she couldn't accept what happened. Besides that, he was saddened that his worrying about her, caused her more stress and grief. He saw her sobbing and tears sprang to his own eyes. His wife was having a hard time with the family's passing as well. But was staying strong for Marie's sake. He watched as she turned to find him standing there. He had left his horse farther behind, so as not to have her hear him. She was sincerely surprised. This kinda pleased him because she never started and she always seemed to know when someone approached. She hugged herself and looked away, her face red from the cold weather. She was embarrassed that he had caught her crying. He hated her feeling this way about tears. It was not a weakness. He himself learned this a few years ago. He walked over and sat as close to her as possible, she let out a growl. And he smiled
"It's okay to mourn, and to feel anger Marie. But you need to make sure you keep it a righteous anger, and not an unrighteous anger." He finished this by saying, "I'm here for you. When will you get that Marie? When..." He sighed a sad sigh. "Life has started to move on, and you're still stuck in the past. What will it take for you to see that..." He stated this sentence as a thought, rather than a question.
Marie just sat there listening. Her uncle had a lot of wisdom and biblical sense. Why he didn't just surrender to Christ was lost on her. She ducked her head as tears reached her eyes again. She was in misery. How many times had she wished for solitude when her family had been loud or noisy. How many times had she thought to herself that life would have been better if they had not been here. And now that this had come true, all she did was wallow in regret.
Ray noticed that she was clenching her teeth and keeping her head away from his view.
" Look at me...Marie." He let several seconds pass before he grabbed her chin in his hand and turned her head so that she was looking right at him. Her eyes were piercing as he looked at her. She hated this attention and his touch. But he had to make her see that it was okay to cry around him, to vent, to talk about it. "It's all right! You can be yourself around me. Let loose and cry...a lot if you have too! okay?" He waited until she nodded before he dropped his hand. He saw an immediate change in her stance and demeanor as she got up, dusted herself off and acted as though nothing had happened,
"Let's go. I gotta do chores and I'm starved!" She untied Prince mounted and waited for her uncle to do the same. She wiped her face when he wasn't looking and hoped against all odds that he'd drop the subject. He did thankfully. But they kept it to a slow ride all the way back. It had been two hours since she'd left Le-Roy's. She stayed silent all the way. And when they arrived half an hour later, Lexi and Robin were already there starting their own share of the chores. She resolved to have a good day today, if it was the last thing she ever did. And to start if off she thanked her uncle for his advice, kissed his cheek and greeted Lexi and Robin with an enthusiastic hug, and disappeared inside the barn with the two horses in tow. Both friends were puzzled and looked to her uncle in the hopes of an explanation. He just threw his hands in the air, and backed away just as puzzled. Something had happened, and it didn't feel like a good thing...he walked back to the house deep in thought. He was going to figure out what had happened. IMMEDIATELY!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
'Assaulting Rest'
I have faced a lot of hard times in my life. And I'm not even that old! Haha. Last year sometime after my baptism I believe, a friend of mine came to the door with a poem in his hand, that he wrote and dedicated to me. That poem has been of great help to me. I still keep it in my quizzing binder and read it every now and then. Today he has given me permission and so i am posting it on my blog, for you guys to read. I hope that it is of great encouragement to you as it was for my. So without further adue, I present to you, 'Assaulting Rest;'
The devil fills my life with pain. He fills my thoughts with so much strife.
His raids never ending, crush me. His lies never ceasing, haunt me.
But Christ gives peaceful rest
Our God gives peaceful bliss
My earthly flesh falls down again. His grace he grants, and gives me life.
His love never ending, awes me, His grace never ceasing, shocks me.
The Christ gives peaceful rest
Our God gives peaceful bliss
The saviour came to earth to die. Free life to give, he came from God.
His joy always teeming, lifts me. His truth always living, frees me.
Our Christ gives peaceful rest
Our God gives peaceful rest
My mortal form to heaven fly. With body deathless, now I thrive.
His voice always gracious, calls me. His arms always strong, hold me.
My Christ gives peaceful rest
My God gives peaceful bliss. --Caleb Senneker
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in heaven stored for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award me on that day and not only me but to all those who have longed for his appearing." -2 Timothy 4:7-8 :)
The devil fills my life with pain. He fills my thoughts with so much strife.
His raids never ending, crush me. His lies never ceasing, haunt me.
But Christ gives peaceful rest
Our God gives peaceful bliss
My earthly flesh falls down again. His grace he grants, and gives me life.
His love never ending, awes me, His grace never ceasing, shocks me.
The Christ gives peaceful rest
Our God gives peaceful bliss
The saviour came to earth to die. Free life to give, he came from God.
His joy always teeming, lifts me. His truth always living, frees me.
Our Christ gives peaceful rest
Our God gives peaceful rest
My mortal form to heaven fly. With body deathless, now I thrive.
His voice always gracious, calls me. His arms always strong, hold me.
My Christ gives peaceful rest
My God gives peaceful bliss. --Caleb Senneker
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in heaven stored for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award me on that day and not only me but to all those who have longed for his appearing." -2 Timothy 4:7-8 :)
Monday, January 23, 2012
Tradgedies Amidst Healing, Chapters 3-4
Remember this is rough copy, so I apologize for grammer mistakes!
Chapter Three
"Okay." Doctor Moris stated. He was looking at the x-rays and then to Marie's leg. She shot him a daring look when he touched it.
"Sorry." He said, giving Marie a warm smile. "Well, you're looking better than you did a month ago. I would like to put you through physical therapy in about another month. It would re-build your lost muscle and strengthen them." He finished by looking at Ray.
"All right doc, let's get it done!" Marie's chuckle was a bit grim. She was happy to do this, but it also made her happy knowing she had just used Turner's old slang. She turned her sad smile to the doc.
"Will it be like it used too?" She was hopeful in waiting for the answer.
Doctor Tyler Moris looked her in the eyes and gave her the truth, "You most likely won't," he paused, "but I've been wrong before." With that he patted her on the head and made his way out the door.
"So? You ready?" Ray shot her a wary glance. She was going to have to endure some major pain and stress.
Marie was silent a moment, watching the rain fall outside. "I am, I need to support myself now. You're like a human crutch." She said this lightly, but her heart lay heavy. She was trying to appear as if she were moving on, but inside...she was a loose cannon. Her phone buzzed. She looked to see who it was and smiled. It was from Robin. It read; 'You still alive?' Marie flipped open the keypad and replied, 'yes, my friend...still alive.' She refrained from adding 'sadly.'
"All right then...let's go home." Ray picked up her bag and allowed her to lean against him. They still had a long road ahead of them.
.........................................................................................................
The next day she awoke to find Lexi watching her, eating a bowl of cerel. She glared at her best friend and growled. Lexi just laughed and threw a cheerio at her.
"Good morning sleeping beauty. I have strict orders to take you out today. How about a good old trail ride, like we used to? Prince misses you. Prince was Marie's five year old Lippizzaner stallion. He had been abused and neglected. She had been walking out in the woods one day when she came upon him. He was in an old broken shed, it had smelled of feecies and mold. She had called her uncle at the Vetrinary Healing Hooves Clinic in West Virginia. He had raced out here and picked him up. They later found out that his owner had been smuggling drugs across the border through his horses. She had a passion for these animals and had gained a deep connection with Prince, as she taught him that not all humans were bad. That love was worth living for. At the thought of how she had just neglected him herself. Her heart saddened.
"I would love that Lexi." Her throat croaked with sincerety and Lexi could see it. Lexi knew that the mention of her horse would get her attention. She loved that animal with all her being. Alongside Levi, of course. That dog was never more than five feet of Marie. As if to prove her point, Marie got up, patted Levi on the head and put on an old flannel shirt and a pair of really worn wranglers. She ate a muffin, grabbed her jacket and boots, and headed out across the two minute walk to the barn. The process was slow and painful. But just being out in the fresh mountain air, caused her to forget her pain for the moment. Her uncle owned fifty acres of virginia land. He was also a livestock vet. Wich explained why he could afford this place. Lexi was right behind her as she pushed open the huge red double door. This caused all the heads of the horses to turn and look at who had interupted their breakfast. Marie was looking around her at lexi, when she heard a loud shrill whinny.
"Prince!" Marie laughed as she hobbled to his stall. The horse thrust his head over the door and nuzzled Marie affectionatley. "Haha! Oh Prince! I'm so sorry boy..." she murmerd praises to him when Lexi finally spoke up.
" I told you." She held a smug smile on her face. As if to say she was proud that she was right.
"You can ride cricket. He loves you so, and someone's been giving him way too many oats. He's a lot chunkier than I remember," Marie didn't even have to look at Lexi to see that she was beat red and guilty! Lexi had been doing Marie's share of the chores since...well, not anymore she decided. Starting today she was going to pick it up again. No sense moping around the house. It had been a month and life had to move on. Robin also worked here, but only part time, and because she felt obligated to. Robin boarded her horse Inky here. She was a seven year old gelding, the sweetest thing you ever could look at. After they saddled up, they headed out onto the old familiar trail. Marie texted both her aunt and uncle to let them know where they were. And how long they would be gone. Once out on the trail they fell silent. It felt so good to be in the outdoors again. She had to admit that she had been annoyed to find Lexi in her room, but there was no sense in arguing with her. She could win an arguement with a coyote on how shooting him was the right thing to do! if she really wanted to. This caused Marie to laugh, which brought Lexi's question,
"What?"
"Oh nothing." But Lexi wouldn't take that.
"Come on Marie! What were you laughing about!?"
Marie finally gave in. "I was just thinking how funny it would be if you persuaded a coyote to see that it was all right to shoot him." Lexi looked flabergasted but Marie knew she thought it was funny. And it didn't take Lexi two seconds to holler out with laughter.
"Just like the old good old days Marie. You've got your charm back."
"Yeah, maybe I do." But Marie was not convinced and knew she felt more and more detached from life each and every day she got up.
.............................................................................................. Chapter Four
"Rap, rap...RAP!"
Ray woke up to the sound of loud knocking at the door. He looked over at the time. It was 7:00am Saturday morning. He walked to the door in a bit of daze. He happened to notice Marie lean against the door frame, waiting patiently, attentivley for him to open the door. He did so, and found Pastor Le-Roy Brown, and a lawyer standing behind him.
"What can I do for you at this time of day?" He impled hesitantly, emphasizing the words 'time of day.'
"Morning Ray...Marie." Le-Roy said not even looking at Marie. "We have come on professional buisness...concerning the sawyer's house and will." He finished, this time looking suarely at Marie.
Marie was confused. She had thought that all of that had been taken care of already. She had been glad to know that she wouldn't have to take part in the legal finalizing, since she was 16, just a minor by law. So this caught her attention.
"Well. Go on!" Marie almost snapped, though her sarcasm had indeed been noticed by Le-Roy and the lawyer, they went on as if she hadn't snapped at them. her uncle gave her a sharp glance.
"This is Mr. Sanderson, he is here to speak to Marie, on the behalf of a will. We found it going through the house, Marie. It was well hidden and were surprised in the finding. But it holds some important facts, that we need to take care of...Marie I have been named as your legal guardian. You are going to have to come and move in with us...immediately. I will give you two weeks to get your things together. And then I will come and get you. We will than discuss the situation, and living arrangements with your aunt and uncle." Le-Roy finished.
Marie felt like the ground had been ripped from under her. She had just been getting the feeling that life would go on as normal as it could. But now...Marie's eyes suddeny filled with tears. She didn't even bother to get a coat or shoes as she hopped to the barn as fast as she could on her one good foot. She thrust open Prince's stall door and leaned against him and cried. It wasn't that she didn't like pastor Le-Roy. In fact, she loved him! But to just barge in and take any normalacy she had sarted to feel? That had to be wrong. She tried hard not to blame him. Because her parents had written that will. So she wouldn't haven even been living with her aunt and uncle from the getco, if they had found the will sooner. After a while, her crying ceased. It didn't take long for her to hear someone approaching. She didn't even bother to look up. She knew who it was.
"Marie...this is a shock, even to me. I'm so sorry to have to do this. But I have to. I have to respect that your parents wanted this for you. And I feel honored that they thought that Linda and I were the right people to take care of you. But-"
"I understand, I really do. It's just...I had fianlly started feeling like life was gonna go on. And now God, just like before...has ripped the floor out from under me! Why!? Pastor Le-Roy...why." She fell silent than. Le-Roy put his hand on her shoulder and prayed. She felt good after that, but still, her heart was lay heavy with burden.
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Lexi and robbin came over the next week Sunday, to help her pack. They had bantered and laughed and listened to music to lighten the mood. But Marie had hardly spoken a word since she had opened the door to let them in. They had just packed up the last box, when aunt Mary-Lou came in.
"I made pizza for dinner? Is anyone hungary?" She asked, already knowing the answer to her question.
"I'm starving!" Lexi and Robin said in unison. They both cracked up with laughter.
"Come on Marie!" They left the room than. The were trying so hard to ignore her mood and to make the best of it for her. They both knew that she did not need another deep heart to heart talk. She needed light in a dark place...laughter, love and normalcy!
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The next day came and went. Marie knew that Le-Roy would be coming any time now. He hadn't specified which day he would be coming. She knew she couldn't avoid it, but that didn't stop her for wishing on a miracle...that somehow she could stay here. She loved being out in the vast wide open. Running around in the pen with prince, going on trail rides with Lexi and Robin. That was her, she needed space to be herself. She loved having the freedom beyond a fence. Not trapped behind one. Who would have thought that her parents death would have allowed her dreams to come true. I mean she had always had Prince. But not a ranch, not being able to wake up to the rooster's crow. Her uncle had always been gracious and told her she was allowed to visit whenever. Even Levi had the time of his life here on the open land. Though she had never minded being in town, because of the job she had here. And Le-Roy had told her she could still visit here anytime and keep her job. But even in all that, she didn't want to leave...she couldn't. With that thought in mind Marie finished her chores, and went in for lunch.
Ugly!
So I came up with a new metaphor for you guys today! You've probably heard it in a different form though, so it may not be all that great! Haha. Anyways, my uncle and aunt are moving to Elkford, in BC. They just bought a house bigger than the one they live in now. Except that's it's really ugly, it's an ugly, ugly house! But my uncle agrees that it's worth it, because of the surrounding land. The house also has the potential to be a nice house, so they may work on it. What is my point? My point is that we, believers and non-believers are the ugly house! We are rotten, wretched sinners. WE do not deserve the love of God. WE are an ugly house. And God is the Surrounding beauty, that covers us, that makes it worth it. If we allow Him to, we have the potential to be better. To be made new. God can do that for us, He can build us, and paint us into something better. He is the potter, and we are the clay...Because of Him, we are worth being looked at. WE are worth being made new. If that house hadn't been sitting where it is, my aunt and uncle would most likely not have bought it. But because of where it sits, it was worth it, and they took the time to see that the house has potential. WE have potential, if we let God work on us...I hope this makes sense. Please let me know if it didn't! Have a great week as you bask in God's GREAT love...and protection...for YOU! :)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
'Tradgedies Amidst Healing' Chapters 1-2
Since some of you liked the prologue so much. Here is the next few chapters. I posted them early jsut for you guys. Here on out though it'll be once per week. enjoy
Chapter one
Ray watched as his fifteen year old niece shifted under the covers in hospital bed. He fought the tears that threatened to spill over. Taking another swig of his coffee, in an attempt to keep the nurse from noticing. His mind roamed to three days before as Marie called him. He had known something was wrong as soon as he heard her voice. After she had said the word help, through the phone, he had jumped into his truck, just driving to find her. The phone had dropped to the ground. The clue being the loud clang and crackle that sounded as it hit the ground with a smash. She had fallen to the ground, crying in agony, followed not long after by her labored breathing. The stranger had run to her, as Ray could only stand by and listen in torture. He was no help. Not soon after he had given Ray directions. Ray than sped to the scene. Police and paramedics were already standing by when he arrived. Trying to get to her, had lead to five policemen holding him down. Threatening to lock him up if he did anything else that was stupid! Marie had been unconscious, in fact she still was. He remembered asking if there was any other survivors. They told him no, and that the truck driver had been killed as well. Ray shook his head back to the present. He forced his mind not to wander over the road to where her broken body had lain on the road. She was such in terrible shape, that she had looked dead. It was a nightmare alone just to see her bloody and beaten up. She had made little improvement since arriving at St. John’s Hospital. He sat up. Marie was calling out to someone.
“No…NO!! I don’t want to go home! Why can’t we stay!?” She was pleading with someone, though with whom, Ray wasn’t sure.
“How is she?” Asked Mary-Lou. Ray’s wife.
“I don’t know honey,” Ray looked from his wife to the hospital bed, to Marie.
“Maybe we should try praying for her?” Ray ventured.
Mary-Lou looked hesitant. Neither were christens, but both were strong supporters of Marie’s faith. “Why not. She’s too important to us, not to try.”
With that Ray bowed his head and struggled to find the words, as he prayed aloud for his niece. “Dear Lord…I, um…don’t know why this happened. And frankly I don’t know why she loves you so. Because after what happened, I don’t know that I ever could. But she does, and I beg you, to please heal her broken body, and crushed spirit…amen.” Ray opened his eyes, and rubbed his hands over his worn out jeans. He felt different as he finished the prayer. But put that felling aside for later, and focused on the present.
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Marie tried to open her eyes. It felt as though someone had tried to glue them shut. With another attempt, they finally flickered open, but than were forced shut again, due to a blinding light. She suddenly felt frightened. She tried again, this time succeeding. The room was dark, but soon found the source of light that had blinded her vision. It was the table side lamp. She looked around for a clock, and found that it read 2:12am. Marie looked around herself. Where was she? Why was she here? It dawned on her that this was a hospital. Without warning the accident came back in a rush. She was in pain, a lot of pain! She tried to get to the truck, her dad and mom calling to her for help. Turner was dead, as was Tommy, and Alisha. She struggled against the sheets, this caused someone to stir. She stilled her body in an instant. Who was that? Who was here!?
“Marie?” Her uncle was calling her. Suddenly her eyes filled with tears as she so desperately wanted to cling to him.
“Unc-…uncle, Ray?” Her throat burned. It was so dry, she struggled to swallow. Her uncle immediately grabbed a cup for her to sip out of.
“Slowly, Marie.” He was thrilled that she was finally awake. After she was finished drinking, she lay back down on the pillows and gasped in pain. It ached his heart to see her in this state of stress, pain and agony. The doc had said that she had suffered from three broken ribs. They also said it was a miracle that they were able to save her leg. The whole right leg had been completely shattered. They had to re-build it. His mind was forced from such tortured thoughts when Marie asked,
“How long was I out?”
“Three days Marie…” He let the sentence hang. It had seemed more like forever, rather than just thirty-six hours.
“Uncle Ray?” Marie asked him with hopeful eyes. It seemed like an eternity before he answered,
“No.” He hung his head and held her hand. No other words were needed, to tell her that she was never going to see her family on this earth again.
Marie’s body trembled and shook, but she wouldn’t let the tears come. Once she controlled the lump in her throat, she allowed her eyes to meet those of her uncle. “What now?” Was all she managed before Marie fell into another heavy Slumber.
Chapter Two
Two weeks later
It was the day of the funeral. Marie wore black sweats with a crisp, clean white t-shirt. It was the closest thing to funeral clothing at the hospital that she had. She definitely stuck out like a sore thumb. She didn’t need the added attention. She was already overwhelmed with the amount of attention she was getting. Uncle Ray was half carrying her up the stairs. She had won the battle. She had argued against having a wheelchair, or crutches. So Ray had been sentenced by the doc to be her aid. She gasped in pain, as her toes brushed the tops of the stairs. He was a large man, carrying her in an awkward side motion. She hated being babied. But she swallowed her pride and let it be so. Truth be told she was in tremendous pain, and wished for that wheelchair mighty bad. Marie would never admit this, so she worked at controlling her emotions, and pain. Her heart felt broken, along with her ribs and leg. Her spirits were low, she didn‘t know how to keep them high. She didn’t know when she would ever feel whole again. Aunt Mary-Loy had stayed home with Nickolai and Emmy. The funeral wasn’t due to begin until two o clock. It was one at the moment. She had wanted to come early to get herself under control and have some sort of goodbye, alone. Before the church filled with family, loved ones, and friends. She hadn’t spoken of that terrible day to anyone. Robin and Lexi had begged her to. But she couldn’t bring herself to, and yes even wouldn’t bring herself to. Le-Roy Brown, the pastor of the not small, or large Mennonite Brethren Church, wanted her to release tears…to talk about it. But what was there to talk about! She didn’t want to relive what happened. She didn’t people knowing that it was her fault they died. She was a coward, and a disgrace. What more was there to tell?
“Are you ready?” Ray asked looking down at her. They had entered the building and were now seated on a pew at the front of the sanctuary.
Marie was forced back to the present. “No,” was all she gave him.
Ray was sad for her. She did not cry…nor talk. He tried to get her to speak, but she just sat there motionless. Not moving, not really focusing. She was there, and yet not there at the same time. He finally gave up and put his arm around her in an attempt to comfort her. Instead he was met with a growl. He smiled wearily to herself. So protective was she of herself that even the smallest intimate touch caused her to become guarded and tense. This caused him to dwell on her past. He was enraged that someone would hurt her the way that that young man had. But that was past. And he constantly wondered if somewhere in the world, he ever thought about her and the way she had changed as a person because of what he had done to he
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Pastor Le-Roy Brown walked past the sanctuary. Than stopped and appeared in the doorway. That’s when he spotted the two seated on the front pew, in mournful silence. His own heart was pained. That family had been in his prayers many times throughout the years. He had watched them grow in the Lord, and also struggle in their walk of faith. He walked down the aisle toward them. As soon as he moved, Marie spotted him. She was such an observant, and timid creature. Though one was not to cause her timidity to blind them. She could easily become fierce and intimidating. Once Le-Roy reached them, Ray saw him and held out his hand. Once the two hands met, they shook in a firm grasp.
“Good to see you Ray.” Le-Roy sincerely meant it. Though this man was not a Christian, he was a strong supporter of Marie’s faith. And saw to it, that she attended; church, Sunday school and even youth events.
“Likewise Pastor!” He had great enthusiasm in his response. He generally like this man and all that he stood for. Ray than proceeded to ask for a chair and pillow to prop Marie’s leg up. He noticed the scowl on her face, and ignored it. Whether she admitted it or not, she was pale, and in a lot of pain. The pastor lead the way, leaving Marie on her own. Once they found; a blanket, pillow, chair and Ibuprofen with a glass of water…they returned. The doc said that she would have to endure a long and painful process of physical therapy to hopefully gain back the damaged muscle and tissue. Only once the leg was healed a little more, and the pain reduced.
It was one thirty now and people were starting to arrive. So Le-Roy excused himself and welcomed the people into the building. Mary-Lou with Nickolai and Emmy were the last few to arrive and take a seat. Robin and Lexi came and sat with her for support. Than everyone looked to the front as Le-Roy said in a quiet voice,
“let’s bow our heads and pray.” With that he closed his eyes and began.
Marie’s mind wondered to a prayer of her own. She asked for strength as Le-Roy was going to start in her mind, the beginning to a long healing process.
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As soon as she was able, and without the watchful eyes of her uncle…Marie slipped outside. She made sure she wasn’t followed, and proceeded a slow and tedious process to just sit inside the edge of the woods. She hadn’t realized that while she was doing this, she had indeed been watched. Not only by Robin and Lexi, but Weston and Ray as well.
Robin noticed that Lexi was concerned and was heading out to follow her. She went after Lexi and told her to give her some space.
“She needs to grieve.” She told Lexi. “And you know she won’t grieve with us around…let’s go see if we are needed anywhere around here.” Robin waited and finally Lexi agreed.
Though staring out any windows whenever possible, she dropped the matter of going after Marie. Little did she know that Weston had other ideas.
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Marie leaned against a large tree trunk. She had felt like a fool, Le-Roy had asked her to come up and say a few words. Marie had agreed and went up to the pulpit…but she had just started stuttering. After a while her mind flashed back, like playing a movie very…she had let the tears roll down, without letting any sound escape her being. Shaking and trembling she had fallen to the floor in a heap and just sat there. It had seemed like forever before Pastor Le-Roy had come up and gotten her. She sat down; red with embarrassment, red with anger, red with shame, sorrow and regret. So many mistakes she had made…so many things she had taken advantage of.
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Weston was leaning against a tree. He had followed Marie and was now beginning to think that this was a bad idea. She was weary, he could tell. She was also sad, and appeared angry as well. Weston readjusted his position, that’s when he was heard.
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Marie heard the snap of a twig and looked up to find Weston leaning against a tree. How long had he been there? She wasn’t sure. She did know, however that he had been there awhile, because his face masked disappointment that he had been caught. There was care and understanding in his eyes as he watched her. It felt like some time before he actually came over. When he did so, he just sat down and prayed aloud,
“Dear Lord…I ask that you’d be with Marie. Let me rephrase that…Lord I know that you’re with Marie. I just pray that she would feel your nearness in this time. She’s hurting, even if she doesn’t admit it. Help her Lord, with your Almighty strength. Bring her to you, when she feels empty…and alone. Lord I ask that you help her to see your will in all of this. Lord you know that in our earthly minds, we call this Tragedy…but in your mind Lord, it’s one step closer in fulfilling your plan…Amen.” After Weston finished praying he kept his head bowed. He felt his shoulder droop from weight, and looked over to see Marie asleep. Her head laden against his shoulder. Weston smiled a weary smile. Today marked the tenth day of the accident that had had killed the remaining five of the Sawyer family. He was her friend, he felt her pain. Her way of moving on in life, was to get over it and to keep going. But that just caused a ticking time bomb inside of her that would one day come released. Her head slid from his shoulder, Weston caught it just before it hit the ground. He laid it in his lap and began a prayer for himself. It hadn’t been long before he heard someone coming. He looked up to find both Lexi and his sister Robin coming toward him. He nodded in greeting and put his finger to his mouth.
Lexi and Robin both looked down to find Marie asleep. They were glad. Though she did not look at all peaceful…at least she was sleeping.
“You alright Weston?” Robin’s expression held great love for her older brother.
“Yes. But I’m not sure she is…why Robin?”
Robin was surprised that her brother asked her this. He had a deep connection to God, and it was normally Robin, that came to him with these questions. He had often helped not only her, but Lexi, Marie and others as well. He was also the Sunday School teacher of the senior high kids at their church.
“You know the answer to that Weston.” Lexi answered. She was unsure whether she should’ve taken the question. But Robin had seemed deep in thought. So she had taken a stab for her.
“Weston…You know that God allows circumstances to happen to further his perfect plan.” Robin added to Lexi’s statement.
“Something good is going to happen through this. Marie knows that, whether she accepts it or not.” Lexi finished. Robin and Lexi exchanged a smile. They were satisfied, and confident that they had answered his question correctly.
Robin scooted over to Weston’s side and put her arm around him. “I know you two have become good friends. So I understand your concern for her. But Weston…she’s in God’s hands. Not yours.”
“I know, “ Weston went on, “I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else…thanks, to the both of you.” He gave them one of his knowing smiles.
Marie had awaken some time ago, and was content just to listen. Her heart lifted at the reassurance of this being in God’s plan. Though it hurt to hear, she knew that he Had something great planned from this. And when that day would come, she would be grateful that she was a part of what was to come. She just hoped she realized it before she took matters into her own hands, and did something she would regret…
Chapter one
Ray watched as his fifteen year old niece shifted under the covers in hospital bed. He fought the tears that threatened to spill over. Taking another swig of his coffee, in an attempt to keep the nurse from noticing. His mind roamed to three days before as Marie called him. He had known something was wrong as soon as he heard her voice. After she had said the word help, through the phone, he had jumped into his truck, just driving to find her. The phone had dropped to the ground. The clue being the loud clang and crackle that sounded as it hit the ground with a smash. She had fallen to the ground, crying in agony, followed not long after by her labored breathing. The stranger had run to her, as Ray could only stand by and listen in torture. He was no help. Not soon after he had given Ray directions. Ray than sped to the scene. Police and paramedics were already standing by when he arrived. Trying to get to her, had lead to five policemen holding him down. Threatening to lock him up if he did anything else that was stupid! Marie had been unconscious, in fact she still was. He remembered asking if there was any other survivors. They told him no, and that the truck driver had been killed as well. Ray shook his head back to the present. He forced his mind not to wander over the road to where her broken body had lain on the road. She was such in terrible shape, that she had looked dead. It was a nightmare alone just to see her bloody and beaten up. She had made little improvement since arriving at St. John’s Hospital. He sat up. Marie was calling out to someone.
“No…NO!! I don’t want to go home! Why can’t we stay!?” She was pleading with someone, though with whom, Ray wasn’t sure.
“How is she?” Asked Mary-Lou. Ray’s wife.
“I don’t know honey,” Ray looked from his wife to the hospital bed, to Marie.
“Maybe we should try praying for her?” Ray ventured.
Mary-Lou looked hesitant. Neither were christens, but both were strong supporters of Marie’s faith. “Why not. She’s too important to us, not to try.”
With that Ray bowed his head and struggled to find the words, as he prayed aloud for his niece. “Dear Lord…I, um…don’t know why this happened. And frankly I don’t know why she loves you so. Because after what happened, I don’t know that I ever could. But she does, and I beg you, to please heal her broken body, and crushed spirit…amen.” Ray opened his eyes, and rubbed his hands over his worn out jeans. He felt different as he finished the prayer. But put that felling aside for later, and focused on the present.
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Marie tried to open her eyes. It felt as though someone had tried to glue them shut. With another attempt, they finally flickered open, but than were forced shut again, due to a blinding light. She suddenly felt frightened. She tried again, this time succeeding. The room was dark, but soon found the source of light that had blinded her vision. It was the table side lamp. She looked around for a clock, and found that it read 2:12am. Marie looked around herself. Where was she? Why was she here? It dawned on her that this was a hospital. Without warning the accident came back in a rush. She was in pain, a lot of pain! She tried to get to the truck, her dad and mom calling to her for help. Turner was dead, as was Tommy, and Alisha. She struggled against the sheets, this caused someone to stir. She stilled her body in an instant. Who was that? Who was here!?
“Marie?” Her uncle was calling her. Suddenly her eyes filled with tears as she so desperately wanted to cling to him.
“Unc-…uncle, Ray?” Her throat burned. It was so dry, she struggled to swallow. Her uncle immediately grabbed a cup for her to sip out of.
“Slowly, Marie.” He was thrilled that she was finally awake. After she was finished drinking, she lay back down on the pillows and gasped in pain. It ached his heart to see her in this state of stress, pain and agony. The doc had said that she had suffered from three broken ribs. They also said it was a miracle that they were able to save her leg. The whole right leg had been completely shattered. They had to re-build it. His mind was forced from such tortured thoughts when Marie asked,
“How long was I out?”
“Three days Marie…” He let the sentence hang. It had seemed more like forever, rather than just thirty-six hours.
“Uncle Ray?” Marie asked him with hopeful eyes. It seemed like an eternity before he answered,
“No.” He hung his head and held her hand. No other words were needed, to tell her that she was never going to see her family on this earth again.
Marie’s body trembled and shook, but she wouldn’t let the tears come. Once she controlled the lump in her throat, she allowed her eyes to meet those of her uncle. “What now?” Was all she managed before Marie fell into another heavy Slumber.
Chapter Two
Two weeks later
It was the day of the funeral. Marie wore black sweats with a crisp, clean white t-shirt. It was the closest thing to funeral clothing at the hospital that she had. She definitely stuck out like a sore thumb. She didn’t need the added attention. She was already overwhelmed with the amount of attention she was getting. Uncle Ray was half carrying her up the stairs. She had won the battle. She had argued against having a wheelchair, or crutches. So Ray had been sentenced by the doc to be her aid. She gasped in pain, as her toes brushed the tops of the stairs. He was a large man, carrying her in an awkward side motion. She hated being babied. But she swallowed her pride and let it be so. Truth be told she was in tremendous pain, and wished for that wheelchair mighty bad. Marie would never admit this, so she worked at controlling her emotions, and pain. Her heart felt broken, along with her ribs and leg. Her spirits were low, she didn‘t know how to keep them high. She didn’t know when she would ever feel whole again. Aunt Mary-Loy had stayed home with Nickolai and Emmy. The funeral wasn’t due to begin until two o clock. It was one at the moment. She had wanted to come early to get herself under control and have some sort of goodbye, alone. Before the church filled with family, loved ones, and friends. She hadn’t spoken of that terrible day to anyone. Robin and Lexi had begged her to. But she couldn’t bring herself to, and yes even wouldn’t bring herself to. Le-Roy Brown, the pastor of the not small, or large Mennonite Brethren Church, wanted her to release tears…to talk about it. But what was there to talk about! She didn’t want to relive what happened. She didn’t people knowing that it was her fault they died. She was a coward, and a disgrace. What more was there to tell?
“Are you ready?” Ray asked looking down at her. They had entered the building and were now seated on a pew at the front of the sanctuary.
Marie was forced back to the present. “No,” was all she gave him.
Ray was sad for her. She did not cry…nor talk. He tried to get her to speak, but she just sat there motionless. Not moving, not really focusing. She was there, and yet not there at the same time. He finally gave up and put his arm around her in an attempt to comfort her. Instead he was met with a growl. He smiled wearily to herself. So protective was she of herself that even the smallest intimate touch caused her to become guarded and tense. This caused him to dwell on her past. He was enraged that someone would hurt her the way that that young man had. But that was past. And he constantly wondered if somewhere in the world, he ever thought about her and the way she had changed as a person because of what he had done to he
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Pastor Le-Roy Brown walked past the sanctuary. Than stopped and appeared in the doorway. That’s when he spotted the two seated on the front pew, in mournful silence. His own heart was pained. That family had been in his prayers many times throughout the years. He had watched them grow in the Lord, and also struggle in their walk of faith. He walked down the aisle toward them. As soon as he moved, Marie spotted him. She was such an observant, and timid creature. Though one was not to cause her timidity to blind them. She could easily become fierce and intimidating. Once Le-Roy reached them, Ray saw him and held out his hand. Once the two hands met, they shook in a firm grasp.
“Good to see you Ray.” Le-Roy sincerely meant it. Though this man was not a Christian, he was a strong supporter of Marie’s faith. And saw to it, that she attended; church, Sunday school and even youth events.
“Likewise Pastor!” He had great enthusiasm in his response. He generally like this man and all that he stood for. Ray than proceeded to ask for a chair and pillow to prop Marie’s leg up. He noticed the scowl on her face, and ignored it. Whether she admitted it or not, she was pale, and in a lot of pain. The pastor lead the way, leaving Marie on her own. Once they found; a blanket, pillow, chair and Ibuprofen with a glass of water…they returned. The doc said that she would have to endure a long and painful process of physical therapy to hopefully gain back the damaged muscle and tissue. Only once the leg was healed a little more, and the pain reduced.
It was one thirty now and people were starting to arrive. So Le-Roy excused himself and welcomed the people into the building. Mary-Lou with Nickolai and Emmy were the last few to arrive and take a seat. Robin and Lexi came and sat with her for support. Than everyone looked to the front as Le-Roy said in a quiet voice,
“let’s bow our heads and pray.” With that he closed his eyes and began.
Marie’s mind wondered to a prayer of her own. She asked for strength as Le-Roy was going to start in her mind, the beginning to a long healing process.
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As soon as she was able, and without the watchful eyes of her uncle…Marie slipped outside. She made sure she wasn’t followed, and proceeded a slow and tedious process to just sit inside the edge of the woods. She hadn’t realized that while she was doing this, she had indeed been watched. Not only by Robin and Lexi, but Weston and Ray as well.
Robin noticed that Lexi was concerned and was heading out to follow her. She went after Lexi and told her to give her some space.
“She needs to grieve.” She told Lexi. “And you know she won’t grieve with us around…let’s go see if we are needed anywhere around here.” Robin waited and finally Lexi agreed.
Though staring out any windows whenever possible, she dropped the matter of going after Marie. Little did she know that Weston had other ideas.
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Marie leaned against a large tree trunk. She had felt like a fool, Le-Roy had asked her to come up and say a few words. Marie had agreed and went up to the pulpit…but she had just started stuttering. After a while her mind flashed back, like playing a movie very…she had let the tears roll down, without letting any sound escape her being. Shaking and trembling she had fallen to the floor in a heap and just sat there. It had seemed like forever before Pastor Le-Roy had come up and gotten her. She sat down; red with embarrassment, red with anger, red with shame, sorrow and regret. So many mistakes she had made…so many things she had taken advantage of.
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Weston was leaning against a tree. He had followed Marie and was now beginning to think that this was a bad idea. She was weary, he could tell. She was also sad, and appeared angry as well. Weston readjusted his position, that’s when he was heard.
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Marie heard the snap of a twig and looked up to find Weston leaning against a tree. How long had he been there? She wasn’t sure. She did know, however that he had been there awhile, because his face masked disappointment that he had been caught. There was care and understanding in his eyes as he watched her. It felt like some time before he actually came over. When he did so, he just sat down and prayed aloud,
“Dear Lord…I ask that you’d be with Marie. Let me rephrase that…Lord I know that you’re with Marie. I just pray that she would feel your nearness in this time. She’s hurting, even if she doesn’t admit it. Help her Lord, with your Almighty strength. Bring her to you, when she feels empty…and alone. Lord I ask that you help her to see your will in all of this. Lord you know that in our earthly minds, we call this Tragedy…but in your mind Lord, it’s one step closer in fulfilling your plan…Amen.” After Weston finished praying he kept his head bowed. He felt his shoulder droop from weight, and looked over to see Marie asleep. Her head laden against his shoulder. Weston smiled a weary smile. Today marked the tenth day of the accident that had had killed the remaining five of the Sawyer family. He was her friend, he felt her pain. Her way of moving on in life, was to get over it and to keep going. But that just caused a ticking time bomb inside of her that would one day come released. Her head slid from his shoulder, Weston caught it just before it hit the ground. He laid it in his lap and began a prayer for himself. It hadn’t been long before he heard someone coming. He looked up to find both Lexi and his sister Robin coming toward him. He nodded in greeting and put his finger to his mouth.
Lexi and Robin both looked down to find Marie asleep. They were glad. Though she did not look at all peaceful…at least she was sleeping.
“You alright Weston?” Robin’s expression held great love for her older brother.
“Yes. But I’m not sure she is…why Robin?”
Robin was surprised that her brother asked her this. He had a deep connection to God, and it was normally Robin, that came to him with these questions. He had often helped not only her, but Lexi, Marie and others as well. He was also the Sunday School teacher of the senior high kids at their church.
“You know the answer to that Weston.” Lexi answered. She was unsure whether she should’ve taken the question. But Robin had seemed deep in thought. So she had taken a stab for her.
“Weston…You know that God allows circumstances to happen to further his perfect plan.” Robin added to Lexi’s statement.
“Something good is going to happen through this. Marie knows that, whether she accepts it or not.” Lexi finished. Robin and Lexi exchanged a smile. They were satisfied, and confident that they had answered his question correctly.
Robin scooted over to Weston’s side and put her arm around him. “I know you two have become good friends. So I understand your concern for her. But Weston…she’s in God’s hands. Not yours.”
“I know, “ Weston went on, “I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else…thanks, to the both of you.” He gave them one of his knowing smiles.
Marie had awaken some time ago, and was content just to listen. Her heart lifted at the reassurance of this being in God’s plan. Though it hurt to hear, she knew that he Had something great planned from this. And when that day would come, she would be grateful that she was a part of what was to come. She just hoped she realized it before she took matters into her own hands, and did something she would regret…
Monday, January 16, 2012
"Tradgedies Amidts Healing". The Prologue
Hey Guys I am writing a novel, and wanted to share it with you. So as each week goes by, there will be a new chapter, or a couple of chapters at a time. Enjoy, and please leave me comments on what i can fix, or what you like or dislike about it! Hope you like it!
Prologue
"WHAM!" The door to the 2004 dodge ram truck slammed shut.
Dad looked sharply at Marie from the review mirrior. He was on his last nerve with this girl. It was one in the afternoon, and the family was getting ready to go home. It was a three hour long ride back to Virginia. Marie was mad at him for leaving so early in the day. But truth is, he needed the rest. Because of work in the morning the next day. Also the camping trip was just what he had expected with his wife's sister and brother in law. Alcohol, and language. They themselves weren't so bad. But the crowd thay had invited, was filled with trash talk, alcohol, and garbage. He had to take his family out of that situation. Marie didn't understand that, and it broke his heart.
"Why did we have to leave so early? Marie slumped down, and whined from the back seat.
Dad breathed a heavey sigh and looked once again, in the review mirrior."You know why Marie. I want to get home early so that we can unpack and have a nice relaxing evening, before I have to get up early and go to work."
Marie understood, but still, she'd much rather be hiking and quading than at home. She turned up the volume on her ipod, so as not to cause further arguement. She felt as though she could breathe out here. 'I mean it's fresh mountain air', she thought to herself. 'Oh well, the sooner I forget about the mountains, the better!' She changed her train of thoughts to the song she was listening too, "Oh glorious day...Oh GLORIOUS D-"
"HONK! HONK! HONK!"
From behind a huge gasoling truck sounded. Everyone turned with confused faces to look for the final time...in the review mirrior, The large semi was swaying back and forth. You could see the driver's face perspiring as he tried to control the large metal beast! He was fighting the wheel, while passing the family of six. Hard as he tried, the semi would not be controlled as it tipped over. Time slowed down as everyone watched with tense muscles and knit brows. Without further warning, the semi fell on top of them. The impact was massive as the glass shattered and the truck was forced inward. Than all went still. Marie looked around her to find that tommy, who was nine years old, was indeed dead. She just stared at his sweet blood covered face. The wounds were extensive. Her mind reeled as she looked to the others, Turner who was fourteen seemed to be dead as well. His head cracked open. The sight caused her eyes to burn, so she looked away. And Alisha, sweet eleven year old Alisha...looked to be unconcious. Marie turned to find her parents sending prayers of help to God. She forced herself to think of ways to escape. Her mind brightened at the thought of an idea. As she flipped her body to get to the window, her leg shot sharp pain up through her body. It was purple amd badly swollen. She had no other choice but to ignore the pain and move forward with her plan. She sent a plea to God and took in a deep breath, and-
" CRACK!"
Marie punched the back passenger window with her bare fist. All the while the anger seeping in at how of all windows...this was the one spared! She clenched her teeth as the flesh on her hand ripped open. The pain was fierce. She tried not to stare at the blood dripping from the wound. She than proceeded to climb out. While Marie turned back to help out her parents, the gasoline truck exploded. This lead to a double explosion as the dodge followed suit, with the camping trailer...
"WHOOSH! CRACKLE...BAM!"
"NOOO!!!!!," Marie shouted as the relization of what just happened hit. The last image she saw was her dad's hand reaching toward her...for help. The help, that she was unable to give...
" Oh, Lord, no..." her body trembling, she fell to the ground in shock. She made no movements as she took in whole the scene. The camper was burnt, the truck was totalled, and the gasoline truck was no more. Fire lit the whole area, and her family was dead. All she could think of in that moment was, 'oh, what a tragedy.' A minivan passing by screeched to a halt. A man got out and asked Marie if she was all right. All she managed was a very faint,
"I need a phone."
The man gladly gave it to her. She dialed a familiar number. The phone rang three times before a deep voice answered,
" Hello?"
"Uncle Ray? I need help." With that she felt the phone drop to the ground, and the weight of the hard asphalt, as her hands made the impact. Unable to catch herself as she tumbled over, her head hit the road with a heavy thud. The last thing she heard was the strange man, giving her uncle directions...followed by a 911 call...
Prologue
"WHAM!" The door to the 2004 dodge ram truck slammed shut.
Dad looked sharply at Marie from the review mirrior. He was on his last nerve with this girl. It was one in the afternoon, and the family was getting ready to go home. It was a three hour long ride back to Virginia. Marie was mad at him for leaving so early in the day. But truth is, he needed the rest. Because of work in the morning the next day. Also the camping trip was just what he had expected with his wife's sister and brother in law. Alcohol, and language. They themselves weren't so bad. But the crowd thay had invited, was filled with trash talk, alcohol, and garbage. He had to take his family out of that situation. Marie didn't understand that, and it broke his heart.
"Why did we have to leave so early? Marie slumped down, and whined from the back seat.
Dad breathed a heavey sigh and looked once again, in the review mirrior."You know why Marie. I want to get home early so that we can unpack and have a nice relaxing evening, before I have to get up early and go to work."
Marie understood, but still, she'd much rather be hiking and quading than at home. She turned up the volume on her ipod, so as not to cause further arguement. She felt as though she could breathe out here. 'I mean it's fresh mountain air', she thought to herself. 'Oh well, the sooner I forget about the mountains, the better!' She changed her train of thoughts to the song she was listening too, "Oh glorious day...Oh GLORIOUS D-"
"HONK! HONK! HONK!"
From behind a huge gasoling truck sounded. Everyone turned with confused faces to look for the final time...in the review mirrior, The large semi was swaying back and forth. You could see the driver's face perspiring as he tried to control the large metal beast! He was fighting the wheel, while passing the family of six. Hard as he tried, the semi would not be controlled as it tipped over. Time slowed down as everyone watched with tense muscles and knit brows. Without further warning, the semi fell on top of them. The impact was massive as the glass shattered and the truck was forced inward. Than all went still. Marie looked around her to find that tommy, who was nine years old, was indeed dead. She just stared at his sweet blood covered face. The wounds were extensive. Her mind reeled as she looked to the others, Turner who was fourteen seemed to be dead as well. His head cracked open. The sight caused her eyes to burn, so she looked away. And Alisha, sweet eleven year old Alisha...looked to be unconcious. Marie turned to find her parents sending prayers of help to God. She forced herself to think of ways to escape. Her mind brightened at the thought of an idea. As she flipped her body to get to the window, her leg shot sharp pain up through her body. It was purple amd badly swollen. She had no other choice but to ignore the pain and move forward with her plan. She sent a plea to God and took in a deep breath, and-
" CRACK!"
Marie punched the back passenger window with her bare fist. All the while the anger seeping in at how of all windows...this was the one spared! She clenched her teeth as the flesh on her hand ripped open. The pain was fierce. She tried not to stare at the blood dripping from the wound. She than proceeded to climb out. While Marie turned back to help out her parents, the gasoline truck exploded. This lead to a double explosion as the dodge followed suit, with the camping trailer...
"WHOOSH! CRACKLE...BAM!"
"NOOO!!!!!," Marie shouted as the relization of what just happened hit. The last image she saw was her dad's hand reaching toward her...for help. The help, that she was unable to give...
" Oh, Lord, no..." her body trembling, she fell to the ground in shock. She made no movements as she took in whole the scene. The camper was burnt, the truck was totalled, and the gasoline truck was no more. Fire lit the whole area, and her family was dead. All she could think of in that moment was, 'oh, what a tragedy.' A minivan passing by screeched to a halt. A man got out and asked Marie if she was all right. All she managed was a very faint,
"I need a phone."
The man gladly gave it to her. She dialed a familiar number. The phone rang three times before a deep voice answered,
" Hello?"
"Uncle Ray? I need help." With that she felt the phone drop to the ground, and the weight of the hard asphalt, as her hands made the impact. Unable to catch herself as she tumbled over, her head hit the road with a heavy thud. The last thing she heard was the strange man, giving her uncle directions...followed by a 911 call...
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